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Post by Feliciano Vargas on Apr 5, 2016 17:22:41 GMT -5
The day was slowly drawing to a close. Feliciano dreaded every minute that passed, bringing him closer to his deadline. He was supposed to leave the castle, for his 'special' mission, once the darkness fell. The brunette sorted in disgust at the memory. Kolher had come to his room 'asking for help'. Apparently, there were people starting trouble in the farther reaches of the kingdom, speaking of a 'true heir' that should take the throne over Ludwig's; someone who had the "birthright" Ludwig did not. His Highness the King was worried that, should these people be left unchecked, a rebellion may eventually take place. Feliciano was to immerse himself with the commoners, get information that, apparently, no one else was capable of finding. Ludwig had even requested Feliciano's help personally, if Kolher was to be believed. If Ludwig finally wanted to be rid of Feliciano, there were far easier ways to go about it. For example, all he had to do was say so. Feliciano heaved a tired sigh, laying back on the small sofa in his quarters. What few possessions he had left were already placed in safe storage, furniture hidden beneath swathes of thick cloth to protect them from encroaching dust. No one knew how long this mission would last, and the servants, of course, certainly couldn't be expected to maintain a room no one would be using. Personally, Feliciano doubted he'd ever see his...this room, ever again. Feliciano didn't know how to feel about this situation he'd found himself in. Time continued to tick away, sunlight dimming against the horizon. Kolher would be sending someone to fetch him once preparations were complete and it was time to leave. He was given simple, worn clothes (second hand from several of the castle guards, to better 'fit in' to his new surroundings) to wear. He should probably change into them. Maybe get something to eat. If he's supposed to masquerade as a commoner, a simple beggar if he remembered correctly, who knew when Feliciano would next eat a decent meal. ...Should he tell Kiku? His old friend liked to waste his free time fussing over Feliciano. With the sentry gone, the man would need to find a new hobby to focus on. But...he probably already knows, right? He was Ludwig's Esquire of the Body--his right hand man. Ludwig rarely did anything without Kiku's knowledge. Kiku would've known about this situation, and the King and his Jack's 'solution' to it before Feliciano himself. Being Esquire really had its perks. There was no reason to call for Kiku, then, if he already knew. There would be no need to say goodbye. Still, the thought hovered along the edges of Feliciano's mind. Irritation welled up in his chest the longer he failed to scare it away. With a huff, the brunette pushed himself to his feet, turning towards his small bag; the few items he was allowed to take. In an attempt to distract himself, Feliciano grumpily began sorted through the bag again. Maybe he forgot something.
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Post by Kiku Honda on Apr 28, 2016 11:32:35 GMT -5
It was only once he was at the door of one of his oldest friends, that Kiku hesitated. He knew all too well what Feliciano’s new mission was, had been at his king’s side as they discussed the risks and benefits associated with it. Kiku had his own reservations in regards to sending Feliciano out on such a long and complex mission when the young man was clearly still working through traumatic events of the past year. And yet… maybe the King was right, maybe Feliciano needed something else to focus on, needed to feel like he had a purpose… to spend his whole life training for one specific goal, only to have that goal ripped away from you (along with those you held so dear), Kiku couldn’t imagine what that felt like.
How would Feliciano receive him? Should he make his presence known? Would he still be a friend? Or would he be a representative of the King who had sent him into the wild, banished him from the world of courts and titles and everything that he’d ever known. With a deep breath, Kiku composed himself and knocked on the door, praying that he wouldn’t be turned away. He could hear rustling on the other side of the door, but no voiced. It was likely Feliciano was alone. Not that Kiku should be surprised, his old friend rarely entertained guests anymore. It seemed like a lifetime ago when Feliciano seemed to hold some get-together every other night. Now… it seemed that Kiku was the only one entreating for entry.
“Feliciano? It’s me.” He said, just loud enough for his voice to penetrate through the thick door. “I was hoping… I wanted to bring a few things to help you.” Sure enough, his hands clenched a small bag. There wasn’t much in it. A small cask of wine to ward off the cold, a salve to ease away any pain caused by injuries, a few pieces of dried meat, and a small hand carved charm. Kiku wasn’t typically a superstitious person, but when it came to Ludwig or Feliciano, he preferred to be better safe than sorry. It had taken him longer than he was willing to admit to carve the small talisman (handling a carving knife was very different than a sword.) But in the end he’d managed to make something worthy of his friend. Even if it didn’t bring the brunette luck, maybe it would remind him that he wasn’t utterly alone.
He hesitated, unsure if Feliciano would open the door for him. He really wanted to speak to the man before he left, to speak to him as a friend, not as the King’s Esquire. There was nothing he could do now, but hope.
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Post by Feliciano Vargas on Jul 2, 2016 22:07:54 GMT -5
Due to the approaching arrival of his latest mission, and the semi-permanent loss of the life he'd attempted to rebuild around him, Feliciano hadn't exactly been expecting guests. At first, he assumed that it was the soldier Kohler had promised be sent for him. He had wanted to gather up, or at least finish sorting through his bag, but... If he had to leave, he at least had the bare essentials for his mission, and that was probably all he was allotted, considering his role in this mission.
Feliciano froze halfway to the door when a voice he recognized resonated through his door. Not a random stranger, or even a soldier he was familiar with; Kiku Honda was outside his door, and he wanted to see Feliciano before he left. Not for the first time in his life, but perhaps the last if this "mission" was exactly what he expected it to be, the sentry couldn't help but wonder if Kiku had some magical ability to read minds. It certainly seemed like it, for why else would he appear just as Feliciano had managed to banish the idea of summoning him from his own mind?
Did...he want to see Kiku? While Kiku was the king's Esquire, and often took that role more seriously than any sort of personal life, Feliciano still hesitantly called him a friend, in his better moments. But would it be easier to see Kiku, have a chance to say goodbye, or just...cleanly cut his ties with everything he had ever known?
That, at least, was an easy choice to make. Feliciano had to steel his nerves, but after a moment he strode over to the door and pulled it open. Thankfully those old, commoner's clothes given to him had fit his frame, though his sleeve still dangled empty rather than pinned carefully to his scarred shoulder. Feliciano's earlier irritation had faded, but at the sight of his friend standing almost hesitantly at the door; it vanished immediately, leaving Feliciano floundering for...something. He didn't know how to feel about any part of this situation, at all. For a few moments, he could only stand there, dressed like a common man on the streets, and stare at Kiku. He couldn't keep his expression blank, not now, but he didn't know what kind of face he was making at his old friend. Hopefully it didn't reveal the sudden sense of...being lost, adrift in a sea of information and expectations and suspicions he couldn't figure out how to handle.
Eventually, though, he stepped aside to give Kiku room to enter. "...His Majesty and Sir Kohler didn't send you to escort me out, did they?" Feliciano asked in lieu of a greeting, voice quiet as that possibility settled softly into his mind. Would it be better, or worse, if Kiku had been the one sent to lead him out of his old life and into an existence Feliciano had never once entertained he would live? The brunette didn't know.
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Post by Kiku Honda on Dec 28, 2016 11:06:34 GMT -5
Kiku had never been the kind to shy away from discomfort. He was always the first to take the difficult assignments, to shoulder the burden of his charge while in the field. Physical pain did not bother him, nor did the thought of death. Most who knew him to believed him to be cold, as unfeeling and unmovable as the stone on which the palace rested. And yet, seeing the guarded, wary gaze of his friend, hearing those hardened words, Kiku wished he could flee. Did Feli really think so little of his old friend, did he truly believe that Kiku could be so cruel as to be the one to force him out of the only home he’d known? He stood there, before one of his oldest friends and for the first time, he was unable to come up with a response. While Kiku had always been a quiet person by nature, he could always come up with retort when challenged. But now? He had nothing but silence.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d stood in the doorway with the satchel clenched in his hand, but finally he managed to regain himself. He held out the satchel with a faint smile.
“You must have such a low opinion of your old friend, that you believed that I would have to be ordered to see you. I simply wanted to see you and to give you somethings to help you in your mission.” He paused, stepping into the room, it looked so barren compared to what he remembered. And all of the furniture had been carefully packed away for an extended leave of absence. Kiku felt a lump form in his throat. Even though Kiku had encouraged and advocated for this mission, now that it was actually here, he was nervous. There were few people that Kiku could be himself around and Feli had always been one of them and now that he was leaving…
Kiku set down the satchel and looked around the room before taking a seat on the bed. Normally he would never be so presumptive as to force his company on others, but this was the last chance he had to speak with Feli frankly for a very long time and he didn’t want to lose that opportunity. He refused to consider that it was the last time he’d see his friend.
Kiku looked up at Feliciano, for once shedding his titles and all that went with it. Here he was only a worried friend and he hoped Feliciano would understand that. He smiled faintly and gestured for Feliciano to join him.
“I thought… well it always helped when you came to visit me before I would go on campaigns with the Royal Army. You always cheered me up when I was nervous about battles ahead and I always knew that I would come back, because I had you supporting me.” He paused, looking at his hands before looking back up at Feli, his eyes locking with his old friend’s. “I just want you to know, that I will be praying for your safety just as you had for me. So come back safely.”
He had never admitted how nervous he had been before those battles, or how much Feli’s kind words and gentle smiles had given him the courage to move forward. But now it was Feliciano who was venturing into the unknown and Kiku had to let him know that he would be missed. But more than that, that he had a place to return to.
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Post by Feliciano Vargas on Mar 1, 2017 2:26:20 GMT -5
"You must have such a low opinion of your old friend, that you believed that I would have to be ordered to see you. I simply wanted to see you and to give you some things to help you in your mission."Feliciano frowned at those words, simply watching as Kiku finally enters the room. Feliciano couldn't decipher the expression still lingering on his friend's face, and he felt similarly indescribable for being the cause of those mixed feelings in Kiku. He silently shut the door behind them, stepping over to gently grab that satchel off the table Kiku set it upon. "I...didn't say that, ve," Feliciano managed after a long pause. "I asked if you were sent here...to see me out of the castle."He couldn't deny Kiku's words, as much as he probably should. His opinion of his friends had dropped a lot over the past year; not just his friends, but his opinion of the world in general was significantly damaged after the attack on Feliciano's family. He couldn't bring himself to lie and say he still held Kiku in high esteem, but he couldn't confirm Kiku's suspicions because the matter was much more complicated than that. So avoidance was key. Instead, Feliciano distracted himself by opening the small satchel, pouring its contents cross the table. Thankfully, the tiny cask of wine didn't spill or break, and he blandly sorted through the pieces of dried beef to unearth the rest of Kiku's "gifts". Feliciano knew of Kiku's proficiency with healing herbs, so the salve was useful for...something. However, he paused, fingers lingering over the rough wood of a small wooden charm. Feliciano could recognize most of the runes crookedly carved into the medallion--protection, luck, health. Everything Feliciano had already lost. "I thought..."Kiku's voice suddenly pierced the heavy silence hanging over them. Feliciano jerked at the sound, knocking the salve and wooden charm onto the floor as he whirled around to stare at Kiku. He almost couldn't hear Kiku's words over the startled th-thumping of his heart. "Well, it always helped me when you came to visit me before I would go on campaigns with the Royal Army. You always cheered me up when I was nervous about battles ahead, and I always knew that I would come back, because I had you supporting me."Feliciano's hand trembled against the table's edge, digging his nails into white cloth with equal-pale knuckled grip. The sheer openness of Kiku's expression, so rare even in their childhood days, was...overwhelming. Kiku made eye contact, then, and Feliciano couldn't look away. Even though he really, really wanted to. "I just want you to know, that I will be praying for your safety just as you had done for me."So come back safely."Those were the words that broke him; a soft, silent shatter of the shoddy shelter of indifference he'd built around himself. Tears flooded Feliciano's eyes, though he couldn't even describe the emotion that brought them on. A split second too late Feliciano remembered that Kiku could see him, and he jerked back like the table had burnt him. Spun on a heel and even put a few more steps' distance between himself and Kiku. Tried to fool himself into thinking Kiku couldn't see the trembling of his frame, the hitches in his shoulders as he tried to smother a sob behind a shaking hand. "Come back safely"? That implied he was even supposed to return. He wasn't--they were sending him out because he had no uses left, and he couldn't get over this slump; Ludwig was tired of trying to reach him. Right?
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Post by Kiku Honda on Dec 2, 2017 18:59:57 GMT -5
This was far from the first time that Kiku had seen Feliciano cry. Back when they were children, Feli had always been very open with his emotions. Often Kiku was there to sooth Feli’s fears, he was always the calm one, the one to listen to Feli, to provide the safe space that the boy needed to get his emotions out and return back to his cheerful self. Feli had always been a bit of a soft spot for Kiku, the one who could always lift Kiku’s spirit who could always wash away any fear or doubt that gripped him.
Of course that was Before. Before. That’s the only way Kiku can think of it. It existed like a massive period in Kiku’s life. Their life before the attack on the Vargas Family and their life after, nothing was the same after Feli’s life was torn apart. Kiku had tried so hard to help his friend, but Feli just pulled further and further away. Kiku could barely remember the emotional but effervescent boy that had made up so much of his childhood memories. Instead, Feli had become distant and cold to friend and enemy alike.
So to see Feliciano crying so openly… Kiku was floored. He took a step forward, looking pale. He hesitated for just a moment, before placing his hands on the boy’s shoulder.
“Feliciano… I don’t care what anyone else thinks… I don’t care. You are my friend. You mean the world to me. You mean the world to our King. I know you don’t believe it, but no matter what, you will always have a home to return to. Always. I will always welcome you back, as will… as will Ludwig.” It felt strange, talking about his King in such an informal tone. Honestly, Kiku didn’t even dare to think about the King in such a way, not since their old days in the military. But Kiku felt like it was important for Feli, to remember Ludwig as his friend, rather than their sovereign.
“Please… Feliciano… I know it’s not an easy thing to believe but…I still need you, Feliciano,” he added firmly, fingers squeezing Feli’s frame lightly. “Please. Please don’t let this be the last time we get to speak.”
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